Baptists At My Door
I don't remember a time when I did not despise proselytizing. Growing up in the Western United States, the door-to-door peddling of superstition was restricted to Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. We simply did not have anything like the evangelical Christians which now surround me. Since moving to Mississippi, I have become accustomed to frequent visits by evangelicals. It seems to irritate me more each time it happens, mostly because they keep coming no matter what I do.
When I added a large "No Soliciting" sign to my front yard, positioned so that most people would be able to see it before getting out of their cars, I expected it to help a little. I knew that the most rabid Christians would not see it as applying to them. They were their to convert me to their delusion and not to sell me anything. Still, I figured the sign might have some impact. While it effectively ended most non-religious door-to-door sales, it had no measurable effect on proselytizing.
I decided that it was time to be even clearer with the would-be converters. I added a symbol which I thought would be difficult for anyone to mistake. It helped tremendously, and I thought I might finally see the end of door-to-door proselytizing. Close, but no cigar.
I was in the midst of an important phone call last weekend when my dog started barking like crazy, making it impossible to hear the person on the other end of the call. I looked out the window to see a car parked in front of my house with four well-dressed people dispersing around the neighborhood. Baptists!
I was surprised when the doorbell rang because I figured they'd see my signs and move on. I tried in vain to continue the call, but the dog was really going nuts now. When the doorbell rang again, I threw the phone down and ran for the door. I could hear the person on the other side messing with the handle as if they were trying to force their way in.
Not thinking clearly through the rage, I flung open the door and asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I was too mad to worry about being polite even as my brain finally realized that the man on my porch had been attempting to tie a plastic bag filled with church propaganda to the handle of my front door. "I don't want your church crap on my door! Can't you read these signs and realize they are meant for you?" He muttered something, took his litter, and left quickly.
And you know what? I felt guilty almost immediately afterward. I played right into the "angry atheist" stereotype. It was obvious that I scared this guy, and I have to admit that was precisely my intent. Yes, I realize that he was the one intruding, that he interrupted me, and that he was planning to leave his mind-rot for me to dispose of, but none of this stopped me from regretting my outburst.
Tags: proselytizing, Baptists, Mississippi, atheism, evangelical Christians, no soliciting, stereotype, atheist
When I added a large "No Soliciting" sign to my front yard, positioned so that most people would be able to see it before getting out of their cars, I expected it to help a little. I knew that the most rabid Christians would not see it as applying to them. They were their to convert me to their delusion and not to sell me anything. Still, I figured the sign might have some impact. While it effectively ended most non-religious door-to-door sales, it had no measurable effect on proselytizing.
I decided that it was time to be even clearer with the would-be converters. I added a symbol which I thought would be difficult for anyone to mistake. It helped tremendously, and I thought I might finally see the end of door-to-door proselytizing. Close, but no cigar.
I was in the midst of an important phone call last weekend when my dog started barking like crazy, making it impossible to hear the person on the other end of the call. I looked out the window to see a car parked in front of my house with four well-dressed people dispersing around the neighborhood. Baptists!
I was surprised when the doorbell rang because I figured they'd see my signs and move on. I tried in vain to continue the call, but the dog was really going nuts now. When the doorbell rang again, I threw the phone down and ran for the door. I could hear the person on the other side messing with the handle as if they were trying to force their way in.
Not thinking clearly through the rage, I flung open the door and asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I was too mad to worry about being polite even as my brain finally realized that the man on my porch had been attempting to tie a plastic bag filled with church propaganda to the handle of my front door. "I don't want your church crap on my door! Can't you read these signs and realize they are meant for you?" He muttered something, took his litter, and left quickly.
And you know what? I felt guilty almost immediately afterward. I played right into the "angry atheist" stereotype. It was obvious that I scared this guy, and I have to admit that was precisely my intent. Yes, I realize that he was the one intruding, that he interrupted me, and that he was planning to leave his mind-rot for me to dispose of, but none of this stopped me from regretting my outburst.
Tags: proselytizing, Baptists, Mississippi, atheism, evangelical Christians, no soliciting, stereotype, atheist
9 comments:
Being mentally deranged, they believe that their god commands them to spread his words of truth, and their god's commands apparently outweigh all restraints of common courtesy, prudence, and even legality. I am thinking of designing a large plywood cutout painted to resemble a snarling bulldog and accompanied by a sign reading "NO RELIGIOUS SOLICITORS" and "Beware: vicious atheist bitch here." Of course, some of my neighbors won't think that's funny!
The way I'm trying to look at it is that if I am clear enough through the signs that I don't want to be bothered and they bother me anyway, then my lack of politeness is justified. Probably just a rationalization on my part, but one with which I think I can live.
I can empathize. It's difficult when you're dealing with people who think they are perfectly justified because they are compelled to spread the good word. I spent six years in Montgomery, Alabama, fending off missionaries (mostly Baptists). For those that ignored the sign I'd answer the door and right when they start speaking I say, "No thank you," and then close the door without waiting for a response. Here in Spokane I get lots of persistent Jehovah's Witnesses. Remember, it's just like you're dealing with mentally ill people.
Hank, that is a really good point. If I could view them as persons suffering from mental illness, I would probably be able to control my temper much better. I'm going to have to try that.
Rig up a shower over your front door. As soon as you see the bibles turn on the water. If they still persist add dye.
being a psychiatric pratctitioner I would never treat mentaly ill people that way- that said- these people are not mentally ill - they are just obnoxious and full of themselves and an awful lot of shit. I think you were justified in your anger- they ahd managed to ignmore quite a few signs that they would not be welcpome- so why should you be polite?
They have no right to knock on your door and expect you to listen to them- as if you don't have a million other much more impoartant things to do!
I tend to use the close the door in their faces technique as well and have gotten over the guilt - they put themselves in this postition they have to deal with the consequences- I expect they think of it as making themselves martyrs to the cause so in a way you are doing them a favour by making them feel good about themselves :)
many many typos- sorry :)
I suppose my lingering question is whether they actually believe their method will work and that they will convert people this way. The alternative is that they are simply doing it without any expectation of success because they are told to do so.
what amazes me is how they think they are superior to everyone in the neighborhood. Maybe they need more people being rude to them. I see groups of four strolling the streets. Once, a man wanted me to stop my mower! I didn't.
My friend was nice to jehovahs, and I guess they thought he was interested, so they brought an elder next time. This kid couldn't have been older than 25. He politely told them he wasn't interested. They continued to follow him around the yard. I looked at my friend to get permisiion to tell them something; i mean, we were in the country and i could've sprayed them down with the hose or something. Finally my friend had enough, and put his finger in their face. You'd think they'd be scared because my friend is 6'4", but they wanted to talk to his wife!
Post a Comment